Georgina - I feel like everyone takes me for granted
Pat - That isn’t true
G- Maybe not. But it feels like it
P- What do you think?
G-Colour suits you. Try it on.
P-I might do. And this yellow one?
G-You won’t lose by just trying it on
P-What about you?
G-I’m OK.
P-I think you could do with a boost.
G- How do you mean?
P-Seems to me you’re feeling a bit down.
G-Is it that easy to tell?
P-No. But I know you. All that did you see such and such on telly.
G-You what?
P-I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re hiding something.
G-I don’t know what you’re on about.
P-You know perfectly well, Georgina Butterworth.
G-I do not
P-Well, you always have something to say about yellow and my colouring
G-So?
P-Just now.
G-What?
P-Distracted.
G-Distracted?
P-I picked up that yellowy dress and you said nothing.
G- Did I?
P-You weren’t listening at all.
G-Sorry
P-No. Don’t be sorry. Tell me.
G-Tell you what?
P-What’s on your mind
G-Nothing to tell
P-Yes there is. And it’s that usual thing about family and how you do so much for them.
G-No. Sometimes I don’t think people appreciate what I do for them.
P-Like what?
G-Oh I don’t know. It’s more like don’t get how stuff affects me
P-Like how?
G-Well, Alison comes round with the kiddies and it’s great to see them.
P-I bet. Ruby’s growing up now isn’t she?
G-Oh yes. Always checking her hair these days.
P-How old is she?
G-Ten
P-Time flies don’t it.
G-Certainly does.
P-So how does a visit from Alison and the kids get you down?
G-Oh I don’t know. It’s like you say. It’s that pop round, have a cuppa, leave Ruby and Cameron for an hour sort of thing.
P-And?
G- Sometimes, Pat, I want a bit of time to myself.
P-I know that feeling.
G-Do you?
P-Of course. Everybody does. Everybody wants the world to go away sometimes.
G-I know that.
P-It’s why we need a holiday from time to time.
G-You’re right.
P-Do you mind me asking something, Gina?
G-Depends what it is.
P-Serious.
G-Go on.
P-OK. Is this anything to do with, you know, Janet?
G-Oh Pat.
P-It’s OK, love.
G-I miss her every day
P-You can still visit her.
G-She said some things that I can’t cope with.
P-I know. You said.
G-And I know she was off her head at the time but you know what they say
P-In vino veritas?
G-Exactly. And it’s not as if Alison is my daughter.
P-She may as well be though.
G-She may as well be.
P-And is she, you know
G-Is she what? Still drinking?
P-(nods)
G-Yeah.
P-And that’s why Alison came round.
G-Yeah
P-And what did she say?
G-I don’t want to talk about it.
P-Gina, that’s the trouble
G-How do you mean?
P-Trouble is you don’t talk. You bottle it up and it all goes sour
G-I’m not sour
P-That’s not what I mean
G-Well?
P-I mean it gets to you and it doesn’t need to. Not after all this time.
G-Perhaps
P-No perhaps about it. I’ve seen it and waited for it to pass.
G-And it does.
P-But it always comes back
G-One of them things we have to put up with
P-I just think - oh I don’t know
G-What?
P-I think if you talked about it, what Janet really said, it might help.
G-A gin and tonic might help
P-That would make it worse.
G-Happen
P-Come on
G-What you doing?
P-I’m not trying these on.
G-How do you mean?
P-Let’s go somewhere, sit down and have a heart to heart.
G-No. You’ve got your do coming up. You said you wanted a new outfit.
P-Aye. Well. Plenty of time for that. There’s something you need to get off your chest.
G-No.
P-Yes and I’ll not hear any of your objections.
G-OK. OK. You don’t have to grab hold of me. I get the message.
P- About bloody time too. Come on.
G-OK. OK.
P-And you can tell me once and for all
G-Tell you what?
P-What she said that hurt you so much.
I think this is great and the dialogue as always is spot on. I love the action going on around it, which you can definitely see. Which is a clever thing to do when you are not describing it. It is definitely worth working on this first draft. I don't feel the ending is an ending, although it is a great jumping off point for something to be better woven. I like how you make the reader want to know more about that conversation, but it needs a bit off jigging about with. Super first draft though. x